Thursday, September 27, 2012

Nature vs Nurture

I always love it when people proclaim that "girls aren't born loving pink sparkles" and "boys aren't born liking trucks.  We teach them to like those."

WHAT A BUNCH OF HOG WASH!!
I can assure you I did *NOT* teach my boys to destroy EVERYTHING in their paths. I didn't teach them that anything can be a weapon. I didn't teach them that the pretend food in their play kitchen should be used as bombs...with accompanying  sound effects, of course. I didn't teach them to throw their babies across the room and nail their brother in the head with it. I didn't teach them to propel themselves off any and every elevated surface they can climb on. I didn't teach them that a doll cradle is best used up side down as a "hiding place" while playing war. I most definitely didn't teach them to wrestle with anyone that was willing. I didn't teach them to ram the doll stroller (a favorite for all of them) into each other, the walls, the doors, or OUR ANKLES.


Then along came Lynneah...a GIRL. I thought, "Oh how I hope she's at least a little bit feminine." I didn't teach her to arrange the fake food on a plate and serve it, but she does. I didn't teach her to pick up the baby doll and pat it's back, rock back and forth or bounce it, but she does. I didn't teach her to swaddle said baby and lay it in a swing/car seat/cradle, but she does. I didn't teach her to look in the mirror and giggle at her cuteness, but she does; and I hope she always feels that way about herself.
 (Assembled by her throughout the day. Sparkly princess crown hair clip, 2 "jewel" necklaces, 1 "jewel" bracelet, Garrett's monster socks, favorite pink sparkly shoes.)

Heavens knows my haggy self didn't teach her to accessorize, but boy does she ever. I didn't teach her to LOVE shoes, but dang that girl does! She giggles and jumps up and down with excitement when a new pair shows up. Her favorite ones are the SPARKLY pink ones.
I have nursed and pumped for every single one of these yahoos. I don't hide any of it...mostly for safety reasons. If I hid while I fed a baby or pumped these boys would blow the house up. Lynneah is the ONLY one that has run up and grabbed my nursing pad and tried to put it under her shirt. I thought it was funny and proof that girls are girls. THEN I walked in and caught her "pumping". She actually had it turned on and everything. The pump has always been out and used on a daily basis, but it was the GIRL that plopped herself down and mimicked it's use.

They are born different. Is there overlap? Of course!
I've had boys that liked pink for years, glitter, cute hair things, and show empathy. Lynneah plays with dinosaurs and roars for them. She crashes hot wheels and wrestles with the best of the boys.
 Boys are wild little critters.
Girls are nurturing, care-taking little critters.
It's their nature, our job is to nurture their nature while they're under our care.
Easier said than done...

2 comments:

Mary Jane said...

Love this - you are so right and it would be nice if the world would recognize that it is okay for boys to be boys and girls to be girls. Thanks for being you and expressing your observations.

Alison said...

I loved this post and am in complete agreement.