As I woke up this morning I could hear Lynneah talking and it all washed over me again. Two years ago, today, we ended the day with our Little "Boo" in the NICU. 

At her first speech appoint the therapist said she reminded her of  Boo from Monster's Inc. *and* "talked" liked her too!!
A costume was born.

  
I was a mess then, I was a mess last year, and have ended up a mess this year. I feel like a little less of an emotional wreck this year, but still, I felt it building and this morning it took me out.

That being said, I need all critique of my parenting failures, home management failures, financial shortcomings *which I have ZERO control over*,  aging parent care preparation, lack of health insurance, dull monochromatic children, complete and utter failing friend making efforts at church, not exercising, and general falling short of expectations to be suspended until after Veteran's Day. She made it home by that point and I will be firing on all cylinders by then. Be gentle with me during this time. After Veteran's Day I will be able to get ripped into again and continue life without it requiring Stephen to salvage the tatters and piece me back together. Sorry I'm so weak and this is still affecting me, it is what it is.

I have goals of being as pulled together as _________________ and as kind as _____________ and strong like________________ and completely independent like _________________, but for now I'm still working at those goals and just need people to be nice. If I have one of those weak kind of personalities that just drives you crazy, I'm completely good with that, you can still smile and be nice.

Happy November 2,
apparently a day that will  follow me for years to come.