Thursday, November 19, 2009

They Could Teach You A Lot...


Gabriel's Primary Program was on Sunday. I'm very happy to announce this year went much smoother. I even got to stay in the audience and watch this time. There was drama involved last year....

Anyway, he sat up on the stand quietly, notice I stop short of saying calmly or reverently, he was lots of quiet motion. He had a scrape on the side of his nose he kept messing with so it looked like he was picking his nose the whole hour...nice. After he was done messing with his nose he started licking his hand...nice, again. At the end of the meeting he showed me his red, sore, chappy hand. I told him it was because he kept licking it, he said, "Oh I didn't know that." (Alexandrea wins the award for the funniest kid thing I saw this year. *Hilarious*) Gabriel delivered his memorized line like a champ,

"Noah's family was protected from the flood because they had faith and obeyed Heavenly Father."


After he had memorized it we started working on enunciation. He did great!! He's sure come a long way from where we started a few years ago. I think I'll always have a bit of anxiety when he has to "perform" in front of a group because he's so unpredictable. We're never sure if it'll be a great day like Sunday or one of "those" days.

On a totally different note his line struck me as profound. To say that I'm *sick* of the stage we're in right now is an understatement. I will be SO GLAD to get rid of 2009, good-bye and good riddance! We'll see how my attitude is at the end of next year, but don't get your hopes up too high. :+} Back to my point, Noah's family, just like so many others today, were faced with such a huge trial. My problems pale in comparison, mine are kinda like that yappy Chihuahua that never shuts up or goes away. You just want to say, "Enough already, be gone with you!!" I've felt like a beaten old hag as Stephen and I have tried to navigate through this lovely time. Stephen, the dirty dog, still looks young and rarely shows any signs of stress. That makes me feel that much more haggish. Gabriel's line got me to thinking....maybe I need to evaluate how my faith and obedience are doing. Am I really being as faithful and obedient as I need to?

Our situation now is connected to career choices we made during the summer of 2007. Did we make the right choices?? YES. Is that when things started unraveling?? Yes. Have we done everything right?? Not always. Are we trying to make wise choices?? Yes. How are our testimonies doing?? GOOD. Will we get through this with any kind of sanity left?? I hope so. Why exactly am I so frustrated?? More than the obvious of how to get all the bills paid is that I can't give money or support to groups, people, and places I want. That drives me crazy! Gabriel's teacher was given 200 dollars for her classroom for the whole year. There was a time I could've done some good in alleviating that little problem, not now. I'm frustrated that I can't be as generous in the gifts I give as I want. I can no longer financially support organizations that are fighting for causes that I hold near to me heart. I want to teach my kids to think about others. In my perfect world they'd each get a trip to the store to pick out special Christmas gifts for their siblings/cousins/other family members in mind. I think I've figured out a way to still pull this off. I hope I can because it's such a crucial lesson to learn in life.

IF we're faithful and obedient it will work out and, "this too shall pass." As I started seeing income dry up it was weird to feel "led" in purchasing decisions. We second guessed ourselves when we put a lot of money toward pull ups when they were on coupon at Costco, but those lasted us through almost 5 months. During those months we were able to focus on other financial demands. Every time I go to the store I can feel myself being guided in prioritizing my list. I know it sounds dumb, but it's the truth. The night my poor Stephen walked in looking like he'd been beaten (one of the few times I've seen him stressed) and said, "I don't know what to do. I just don't know...." We again were led to unconventional solutions to the shortage of income. One of the solutions was to start gathering everything we didn't need and craigslisting like crazy. That is what paid for Christmas last year and several other bills. I think getting broke is better than moving. You can get rid of all your junk, but don't have to worry about packing or house hunting. :) Each time the money was gone and the bills weren't we'd be led again. He's been led to where he could pick up work; I've been led in how to approach getting more work. Somehow, we've kinda been making it, still own a house, still like each other, and still have our faith. That's what it really boils down to, faithful obedience. Oh, how I hope I can hurry up and learn my lesson and move on to another trial, if for nothing else, just some variety. I'm so grateful I was able to have my attitude adjusted from my Gabriel. Someday I'll tell him how much he taught me just by working hard on his line for primary. When I start feeling overwhelmed and like I can't breathe and the stress starts to mount, my new mantra has become....faith and obedience, faith and obedience, faith and obedience.

When we get through this we'll be stronger and definitely wiser! I hope we can use it in our child rearing so these wild ones will be wiser than us. All will be well...faith and obedience, faith and obedience, faith and obedience...

5 comments:

Brianna said...

I have a similar mantra. Thank you for sharing your story. Sometimes in the thick of these types of trials (as you know we've been struggling for over 2 years...and are just now receiving some hope) it is easy to see those we think have it easier. But it is important to remember that there are many around us going through similar trials (or worse) and we are so blessed to have family to help us through.

As for Gabriel, I thought of him all morning Sunday, and was so sad I did not get to come and hear him say his line this year. Maybe he will say it for me on Thanksgiving?

I think that the less we have, the more we realize how much we are blessed with.

I can understand being frustrated with not having enough to give in the way you would like. This time of year there are so many good causes, and I have so many I've wanted to give to....and then there's the fact that I was given NO money for my classroom, and need things like markers, staples and tape. But I cannot afford to provide them. So, my students and I have been working hard to be creative with the little resources we have!

Wow, I seem to have a lot to say today! It must be time to sit down and chat again...its been awhile. Loved your post though! Thanks for sharing.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes it's a Job thing: Will we remain faithful even when it seems like so many things are falling apart, or not going according to our own timetables?

Sometimes it's a focused thing: There's something specific that we have to learn from the experience, patience, selflessness, trust, etc., etc., and etc.

Sometimes it's a "one thing thou lackest" situation: We think we're being obedient and doing everything we can to accept and follow the Lord's will, but we tend to keep that one little thing we don't want to give up, whether it's a certain behavior, an attitude, a belief, or whatever.

And sometimes it's all three. Regardless, I know that the Lord is always there with us when we do our best to serve him, striving in good faith to maintain our covenant relationship with him. The Lord does not forsake those who dedicate their lives to him.

Sharron said...

You are dong wonderfully Mariah, You managed to hide just how badly things were going from even Dad & I for so long. I admire you and how you have learned to do things that you swore you never would. I love your enthusiasm as you have developed new talents and skills. I hope you really have internalized just how well you are handling everything and the wonderful example you are teaching others with.

Hold your head up high and enjoy your new understanding brought about by your new set of priorities.

Maybe I should repent, but I am proud to be your mom!

Munchkin Invasion said...

I wish I could say something profound to that...all I can say is that you made me cry.

Thank you for reminding me that tough things happen for a reason and it's so we can be something we couldn't be otherwise.

dhillman said...

My time with Gabe was short, but man did I grow to love that kid of yours. He did awesome in the program and I miss being with that class--just as we were making some progress...
I too am a great admirer of how you and Stephen are handling this economy and I know I don't know that much and it has been a while since we talked in the water!! but still I think you guys are a great example to many.
Thanks for sharing you thoughts and I have know doubt that you will not just make it but you will find blessings that result from this time for many years to come