Lynneah is three weeks old today...and here we sit...in the hospital. Last night I ran home quickly to grab some stuff I needed. It was exactly one week since I'd made the same trip with no baby in the back. I cried my eyes out all the way home a week ago. I probably shouldn't have been driving. What a different trip it was last night, still no baby in the back, but I had confidence that once again there will be.
She had a ROUGH night last night. This girl just hates nights she fusses and cries and runs the nurse ragged all night. She finished it off this morning by refusing to latch and nurse before I had to run to work for a short time. I got back down to the hospital and had to drive around for 30 stinkin' minutes to find a place to park. I walked back in her room just in time to find her finishing a bottle. I'm not anti-bottle but had wanted to get back in time to nurse.
Fast Forward to this evening. She FREAKED out! The sun started to set and she went INSANE! She screamed her little head off for 2 hours. She shares a room with several SUPER preemie babies that need quiet. She refused to latch and eat. Her heart rate went above 200 and her oxygen dipped. She just screamed at me for 2 hours. The nurse practitioner said it might be colic. I firmly believe I've done more than enough colic for a lifetime with Gabriel. The nurse asked if we should give her a bottle. I agreed because she needed to eat and because it might quiet her down. She latched right on and ate it down. I lost it. :'-( I sat here bawling like a baby because my baby is RUINED and will only take bottles now. She, of all the kids, is the one that needs to nurse the most and now I'm gonna have to pump to build her darn immune system. She was such a dainty nurser, it makes pumping that much more dreaded. The nurses were very sweet about my total collapse. One assured me that she's never seen a baby that wouldn't nurse again. Oh, how I hope she's right. As an added bonus she freaked out before I got my time sheet sent in. {:-/
The doctor had said if she continued to eat and had gained weight when they weighed her tonight we could go home tomorrow. Yeah, I don't think tonight counted as continued to eat. I just want to go home...with the baby in the back seat. I miss Stephen...and those wild boys that are running poor Nanny ragged.
She's crying again...here's to another night. I think I need cold stone.
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7 comments:
I know it has been hard, and I know Stephen and the boys miss you at home. But you are so close to being able to go home WITH Lynneah! Hang in there! We are all still praying for the both of you and are anxious to see you both again soon! Even Arianna remembered Lynneah this morning amidst the excitement of her birthday breakfast and prayed for her. I was touched by her sweetness and love to remember someone else when she was so excited about her own special day.
Love and hugs,
Brianna
oh how I hope she latches again. Caleb never got the hang of it after the NICU. (of course he never really figured it out in the first place b/c he was so tiny) I know the exact feeling of walking in, ready to feed, and seeing them feed your baby a bottle. I'm so sorry. You can do this. What a blessing to be able to stay with her. I wasn't able to because of James' school schedule and other kids at home. Big hugs from me.
Hang in there girl! You are doing an amazing job and that little girls is lucky to have such a great mama!
La Leche League should be able to give you some guidance to help her latch on again. Definitely contact your local group if you haven't already. I hope she's able to come home soon, and we'll be praying for you. So sorry, and I wish I could do more to help!
Mariah you are doing such an incredible job!! Just know that these little babies who have trials in the beginning have such strong spirited personalities. My little one that was born a preemie was the same way and she has been a fighter ever since!! We are praying for you guys. I know it's hard. Remember line upon line.... baby steps. Love you and your family.
The Lord won't give you a trial you can't handle--even though in the process it totally sucks. Things will work out fine even though right now it seems it won't. You are so strong, keep your chin up, I love you!
Mariah,
I am in awe how unbelievably strong you are. You are doing a great job hanging in there even when it is really hard.
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